As the old saying goes, “all good things must come to an end.” And that is certainly the case today. Today we are wrapping our conversation with Dr. Tim Kimmel of Family Matters discussing his book Grace Filled Marriage.
Tim has answered many questions over the past several decades when it comes to all different sorts of family matters...including sex. In his book, Grace Filled Marriage, Tim talks about grace filled sex. He discusses how our sexual relationship with our spouse is a litmus test on how serious we are about being an agent of God’s grace.
He also talks about what grace filled sex is not. Things like using sex as manipulation, using sex as a reward, punishment and even obligation. At the end of this podcast, I’ll let you know more about Tim’s resources at Family Matters.
In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss three things:
How indifference can first start in a marriage
When does a husband deserve sex?
Why it’s rare that husband’s and wives are on the same page sexually.
A few months back, I was invited to a wedding anniversary. Now, this wasn’t just any anniversary, it was the big FIVE-O for Steve & Barbara Uhlmann. Fifty years of wedding bliss is how we like think of these celebrations, isn’t it?
This also wasn’t just any celebration either. Steve and Barbara actually published a book called “Plastic Promises” and they talk about what their marriage was really made of. They also gave this book away to everyone who attended.
My friend Tim Kimmel, who you’ve been getting to know over the past few days was also there. Today we both talk about the grace that not only held that marriage together, but the grace that was in that room with over two hundred people in attendance.
In today’s podcast, we’re going to continue our conversation on grace. We’ll discuss three things:
1.Introduce you to Steve and Barbara Uhlmann
2.How the commitment of marriage is not just to your spouse, but to God.
3. How many couples are not divorced but indifferent.
What is the missing ingredient to the Christian life? This ingredient can be used with any relationship at any time. We talked about it a lot in yesterdays’ podcast featuring Dr. Tim Kimmel of Family Matters.
Do you remember…YES, It’s grace! Who doesn’t want more grace in our lives? Well, Believe it or not, did you know that grace can even be applied when disciplining children?
Not only in disciplining children, but as I conducted this interview it occurred to me that we need more grace in all forms of discipline. If you’re married, it certainly starts at home with your spouse and your children. But what about the other things that you are to other people. We all have different roles depending on what the relationship is, right?. Maybe you’re whether you’re a coach, a boss, teacher…anyone in authority over others.
1 Peter 5 reads:
Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. 3 Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example. 4 And when the Great Shepherd appears, you will receive a crown of never-ending glory and honor.
That passage is bathed in grace, it it not!
In today’s podcast, we’re going to continue our conversation on grace. We’ll discuss three things.
1.What a “Wind Dummy” is and why its important
2. How we confine God’s grace to salvation
3. How not to confuse grace with being nice.
Today we begin a new series, and it’s on the subject of grace. There is no other place to where grace is needed more than inside our marriages. And since marriage and sex are two sides of the same coin, we desperately need to learn and apply grace in our daily lives.
Now for my single friends listening, please don’t think that this message doesn’t apply to you. It applies to all of us, we can use these principles in our friendships, family relationships, at work and school. There is no place that grace is not welcome!
Last month I had the opportunity to talk with a friend and colleague of mine, Dr. Tim Kimmel.
Tim is the founder and Executive Director of Family Matters, whose goal is to see families transformed by God’s grace into instruments of reformation and restoration. Tim loves it when churches and families are healthy and strong. He loves it even more when they work as a team. He believes the best way to pass on saving faith and a transformed life is within the nurturing confines of a loving home. To help others achieve this, he has developed resources, conferences, and media tools to equip and encourage parents, grandparents, churches, and couples.
In today’s podcast we’ll discuss three things.
1. How marriage is the proving ground for our own character
2. How Jesus Christ actually proposed to His Church
3. The very definition of what love is.
Over the past seven weeks we have listened to a teaching series that I taught to a class here in Phoenix last fall. It’s called “The Sex Spiral: Forgiven and Free from pornography. The Sex Spiral is a set of awareness triggers -NOT STEPS. Let me explain...
The steps in a twelve-step program are used as guiding principles that outline a course of action. Triggers inside the Sex Spiral on the other hand, these explain the location as to where you are right now in the habit, bondage or addiction to pornography. Triggers are immediate feedback, Steps on the other hand are long range goals that you wish to accomplish.
Steps are similar to looking at the face on your watch so that you can tell the time, while Triggers are all the little gears and motors that you can’t see yet. Triggers allow us to take the watch apart to see how it operates. It answers the question, “Why?”
Pornography is a series of predictable habits that we have created for ourselves. The bad news is that we don’t realize it, the good news is that as you listen, review and start applying this material to your own lives….you (By God’s grace) will break free from the bondage of porn. Jesus Christ did not die for your sin and rise from the dead for your to remain an addicted Christian!
When we know where we are, then we can become less emotional and make better decisions that are based in reality and not fantasy. When we realize where we are, then we can make decisions to exit this road to nowhere and make a turn that leads to hope.
Today, we’re going to hear feedback from the men who took this class. We have a lot to learn from these guys…men who are in the very trenches of their own Sex Spiral. Men from all ages, and all backgrounds. Men who are single, married, divorced and who are on the verge of divorce. Men who have been in bondage to pornography for decades, men who have had affairs along with every other sexual sin you can think of.
Men who own local businesses, who deliver mail, who do your taxes. Men who protect your community and preach at your Churches.
That’s right. Christian men who love the Lord and struggle with the sin of lust. So let’s get started and learn from them.
Did you know that there is power in being sexually pure? The opposite is also true. If we are not sexually pure, we don’t have any power. There’s power in even striving for sexual purity. This is how spiritual muscle is built! There’s also tremendous power in repenting from sexual sin.
If we choose not to guard our eyes, then it’s impossible to guard our hearts. There is a supernatural power and strength from having sexual integrity, by being and striving to be men and woman of purity. Purity is just another word for holiness and holiness simply means that we’re different. That we’re set apart from the world.
In today’s podcast we’ll discuss.
#1 How guilt without a solution leads to a loss of hope.
#2 How the grace of God through trust is able to break the Sex Spiral’s power.
#3 Ask the question, do you really truly want to be healed - to be free from your bondage to pornography.
What is your definition of trust? Do you find it hard to trust other people? What about your family? How about your spouse? Lastly, is it hard for you to trust God?
Well, today we dive into this topic of trust. One thing to note before we get to the lesson is that God never intended us to trust Him perfectly. He never intended us to do anything at any time perfectly. It’s impossible. Sin has left us very flawed and scarred people.
Now, we can do things with excellence. We can strive for excellence, we can learn from past mistakes and make adjustments on the way…but if we have this mindset that things must be done perfectly, we’ll, that’s just a prescription for an ulcer. Especially when it comes to trying to recover from a habitual sin like pornography.
In today’s podcast we’ll discuss.
#1 How there is a direct correlation between the loss of hope and the inability to trust.
#2 How hopelessness can turn into suicidal thoughts.
#3 How hopelessness will always cause me to lose my resilience in being able to function well in relationships.
Back on January 2, we started this teaching series called the Sex Spiral: Forgiven and Free From Pornography. It’s a series that I taught to a men’s group here in Phoenix last fall. The Sex Spiral is a set of awareness triggers that explain the location as to where you are in the habit, bondage or addiction to pornography.
Make no doubt about it, pornography is a series of predictable habits that we have created for ourselves. The bad news is that we don’t realize it, the good news is that as you listen, review and start applying this material to your own lives...you (By God’s grace) will break free from the bondage of porn. Jesus Christ did not die for your sin and rise from the dead for your to remain an addicted Christian!
Today we are at the last trigger inside the Sex Spiral. It’s called Hopelessness. Obviously, it’s a horrible place to be, and I pray that you never have to go there. Unfortunately, I did and today you’ll hear part of my personal story. A story of how the bondage to pornography almost literally killed me.
There is power in stories, and that’s why I’m sharing mine with you. I pray that you learn a lot from it, and that you don’t choose to make the same mistakes that I did.
I wish I would have scheduled a happy and blissful and fairy tale message for you today on this Valentine’s Day...but I didn’t!
Happy Valentine’s Day to you by the way. (Gentlemen, don’t screw this up, okay?! She's better than you deserve.)
Well, today we are going to hear the last teaching message on the subject of anger, and we’re going to touch on something called Unresolved Anger. It’s exactly what it sounds like. This type of anger has to do with something that is unresolved in our life. Maybe there’s a situation that is unsettled. Maybe there’s something or someone in your life that troubles you and unnerves you. Just the the thought of it scares, irritates and ultimately controls you with anger. These are all signs of unresolved anger.
In today’s podcast we’ll discuss.
1) How righteous anger is a defense for God and others.
2) How unrighteous anger stems from someone or something is in the way of my unreached goal or plan.
3) How we must acknowledge and understand that there is a difference between being angry and unresolved anger.
Last week we ended our conversation off around the subject of anger. We learned how there are two different types of anger: 1) righteous and 2) unrighteous. Righteous anger is a selfless anger. If focuses on other people. It's the things that makes God angry. Unrighteous anger are all the other reasons I choose to get angry.
Today we continue our conversation by discussing the four different causes of anger. These are the actual reasons - the root source of our anger. This is a big deal because when we realize what the actual motive to my anger is, then we can, (by God’s grace) change. When we can identify and be consciously aware of the very beginning - the place - from which anger arises out of me, then I can choose to respond differently and be transformed into the image of Christ.
In today’s podcast we’ll discuss the four different causes (sources) of anger:
Hurt, Injustice, Fear, and Frustration.